APPLICATION FOR ROCK STAR POSITION

Jonathan Bright
(615) 828-6757
www.jonathanbright.com

Experienced musician with demonstrated ability in volume production, crowd control, sonic management, and mood enhancement


SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS

  • Experience in all things rock
    • high speed riffing
    • sensitive yet edgy balladry
    • proficiency in the devil horn salute, as well as arena rock poses #9, #77, and of course #329
    • sleeping in cramped environment (i.e. the van)
    • late night long distance driving (i.e. the van)
    • groupie deflecting
    • music business schmoozing
  • Expertise in crisis management
    • angry promoters
    • angry soundman
    • angry band
    • angry policemen
    • angry band, who is mad at the promoter because there is no beer backstage, who is mad at the soundman because it is too fucking loud, who is angry at the band because they won’t turn down, who is angry at the promoter because there is STILL no beer backstage, who is angry at the policeman because he is informing him of the local noise ordinance, who is angry at the band because they insist that the contraband backstage is not theirs, who is angry at the promoter because there is STILL no beer backstage, and WE WERE PROMISED FREE BEER DAMMIT.
  • Computer skills
    • Playstations one and two
    • VCR programming
    • digital cable operation
  • PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE
    • endless years of recording, giging, day job, recording, giging, day job, recording, giging, day job, all culminating in a new collection of recordings ready to be unleashed upon the unsuspecting masses. (followed by giging, day job, recording, giging, day job, etc.)
  • CAREER GOALS
    • satisfy my insatiable urge to rock
    • take over the world
    • retire as a Vegas night club act (a la Wayne Newton and David Lee Roth)